Oh my God. Yet another post that I have been trying to get up here for what feels like a century (two weeks)! Moving, interviewing for a potential promotion, going through another round of the Whole 30, trying to figure out how I can better serve my community, and doing ALL THE THINGS does not leave much energy for sitting and writing. Sigh. But now that I’ve packed up some of my stuff, worked out, trained my splits, and dinner is simmering on the stove, I finally am like, “Oh, right, I should write the thing.”
The above photo was taken during Trump’s first week in office and I’m gonna be honest. This photo was the only good thing about that week. Period. That being said, this was a really, really fucking awesome thing in the midst of soooo much bullshit. I am finally getting comfortable with beginner inversions and I’m stupid happy about it. Going ass over head has always weirded me out and for the longest time I was just simply terrified of it. While I’m so very happy with my progress, I am also struck by the timing of this breakthrough because the thing about inversion that used to scare me, and that now I’m craving more of, is the change in perspective involved. And that is very timely.
It used to be that any time I tried a handstand or something, the moment that I felt ‘upside down’ I would freak out and my stomach would come into my throat and I’d come right back down, or if someone was holding me upside down, I would probably be yelling at them. Getting used to that bodily shift was tough for me, but with the help of pole dance, that shift has become easier and even welcome. I find myself wanting to be upside down. In fact, when I was having a rough class the other week and I was nearly in tears, inverting calmed me down. (Who am I???)
I’m finding this physical lesson to be very useful socially as well. Let’s be real, events post-inauguration have definitely put a lot of stuff ass over head, and while I don’t believe a lot of that stuff is necessarily new (crooks have always been crooks, now they just get to be a little more honest about it), it is jarring and everyone is reacting to it. We’re screaming on Facebook, marching on weekends, making phone calls, trying to figure out how to do more, and at times locking ourselves away from the world because we are too dizzy, nauseous, and depressed to deal with anything, are all happening and all valid reactions to being upside down. Despite the fact that the world is terrible, and it is, I’m not trying to minimize that, I am actually quite excited about all the reactions because we’re going to get really, really used to being upside down. And once we’re used to it, then we can do more difficult inverts, hear me?
And on top of that, I am trying my best, and seeing a lot of others try their best, to appreciate the perspectives of other people from different walks of life. And that’s super uncomfortable sometimes. Suddenly, everything is oriented differently and that’s as rough to do mentally and emotionally as it is to do physically. It’s not always successful, but something about being so terribly disoriented by our political climate is helping people listen better and take in a variety of perspectives. That listening will always be productive.
I realize that fighting fascists and doing a decent showgirl are two very different things, but the showgirl and the awareness it has given me, as well as the awareness I am continuing to build with the help of my community, are what I’ve got right now.
Power spins and pixie dust to everyone doing what they can out there.